Lots of boxes

My mom is moving soon. In less than two weeks, in fact. So my friend Shad decided to get her a bunch of boxes to help with the move. And when I say ‘a bunch,’ I mean ‘a bunch.’ 40 medium boxes and 25 small ones. They almost didn’t all fit in my car.

Tomorrow is my mom’s birthday. Shad suggested that I tell that her birthday gift is all the boxes. He says it’s the gift that keeps on giving. Here are the suggested uses of 65 cardboard boxes:

1. For moving
2. For storage
3. For making forts
4. For getting traction in your car when it’s icy
5. For puppies (?)
6. As a helmet in pillow fights
7. As a mat to wipe your feet if you don’t have a rug just inside the door
8. To transport cake
9. To make a fire
10. As a trash can
11. As a dresser drawer
12. To sit on when your car has ripped seats
13. For target practice
14. To kill wasps (I believe an explanation is necessary here. Shad says you can throw the box on it and then stomp on the box. This will prevent you from getting stung.)
15. To trap rogue hamsters and other varmints.
16. To trap just about any small rogue animal.
17. As a dirty clothes hamper.
18. To place under your car to keep your car from dripping on the floor of the garage and creating oil spots.
19. To create another ‘person’ so you can ride in the HOV lane.
20. As an end table, for a person too poor or cheap to buy real furniture. (No offense, anyone, I’ve done this one myself.)